My Next Life.

In this life I'm a woman.


In my next life I'd like to come back as a bear.


When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.

You do nothing but sleep for six months.

--I could deal with that.


Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.

--I could deal with that, too.


When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts)

while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.

--I could definitely deal with that.


If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.

If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

--I could deal with that.


If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.


Yup...gonna be a bear.